***Dear Friends: It’s only a funny I wrote this morning. There is nothing remotely entertaining about true addiction. Please take it as irreverently as it’s meant and do not be offended.***
Today I’ve been watching my favorite show again. I’m feeling light-hearted. If you haven’t seen it, you probably won’t enjoy this as much as a fan will. I hope it at least gives you a quick chuckle.
Hi, my name is Jezebel and I am addicted to Red Dwarf. I have been a daily addict, using several times in a single day, for almost 38 years now. No program or therapy will help my addiction and none will be healthier or grant me more happiness. Because of my addiction, I have acquired great friends, even though most are Cyber friends and happen to be far away across the pond. They live in my computer, and are a lovely social media group of like minded individuals where we can all gather 24/7 to learn the core directives, obsess, interact, randomly quote, endlessly fantasize, hope, discuss and practice a tribal salute while we aspire to join the Jupiter Mining Space Corp. We all want to pass the engineering exam, become an Officer, get a sex life and order Lister around. We also want bigger quarters and more hangers for our underpants. We don’t speak of Gazpacho soup, trips to the Zoo or visiting on Mimas for dinner in the red light district. We do charity for people who wear Yak smelling dirty Macs and worship our blessed Deity the benevolent, though usually, cross Mr. Flibble. His hex vision is powerful, but if you’re very fast and don’t say “we’re going to get through this” too often, the King of the Potato people can help you stay in his good graces. Our cult is very dear and we work very hard enabling young children to grow up secure in this addiction across the world. I am proud to be a Red Dwarf addict.